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Martha Finney's avatar

What a beautiful tribute to your dad. I hope this comment brings you additional comfort: my dad also died of a PE. In a hospital under doctor’s care, with a nurse right there. It happened quick. His last words were “I’ll be okay,” which is an amazing set of last words coming from the man who discovered that Cuba was receiving missiles from Russia, and he felt existential growing desperation with every passing day that the Kennedy admin refused to pay attention to his increasingly urgent messages coming up from Miami.

A man who was one of only a handful of people on the planet who knew that we could all die any second closes out his own life with a PE in a suburban DC hospital telling the nurse, “I’ll be okay.”

My brother, who was the first of the family to see him, told me that the look on his face told my brother that he saw something amazing before he died. I hope it was a band of angels or dearly departeds coming for to carry him home.

I get a lot of comfort from that thought. It was quick and fearless, he had company on the journey to his next assignment.

So hopefully these thoughts bring you comfort too. No fear. No pain. And his eyes were resting on your son’s photo.

Beats the hell out of assisted living.

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Tom's avatar

Beside our fireplace is a big wood storage nook. We have one rule, and everyone in the family knows the rule and why it's our rule. The rule is, never burn all the wood in the nook, never. My wife's dad helped me fill it with wood one day, and the next day we went fishing, fly fishing in a drift boat. He was rowing when suddenly he got in trouble, keeled over and was dying. I grabbed the oars and got us straightened out and got to shore. I held him in my arms but there was nothing I could do. He died in my arms. The worst day, the worst experience of my life, worse than when my own parents died.

Turns out he had a 90% occluded left main coronary artery, completely unsuspected, and he had a classic heart attack, probably brought on by the strain of the rowing.

So we never burn all the wood in the nook, because that means that there is still some wood in there that Hugh put there, so in that little way he's still a part of our life. So I know exactly why that bottle of beer is there in your fridge.

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