Almost every parent has, at some point, made accidental cheese. A baby bottle gets chucked under a crib or rolls under the front seat during a car trip only to be found days or weeks later in a state of curdled cheesy disaster. I don't even know why I'm still surprised and horrified every time it happens at our house.
Because we live mostly luxurious lives where we don't have to worry that much about if we can acquire enough calories (I have the opposite problem), we throw the whole gross baby bottle straight in the trash. I don't even attempt to wash it, which makes me equal parts wasteful and glad not to have to try.
At some point in history, someone was faced with curdled milk and was so hungry they didn't have the same luxury we have today, and they ate it and discovered cheese.
The origins of cheese are unknown. Although there are mentions of cheesemaking in ancient Egypt dating back thousands of years, and strings of references to cheese are woven throughout history, the pioneer who first consumed cheese is lost to time.
Some people surmise that cheese was accidentally discovered when a traveler stored milk in an animal stomach (rennet, an ingredient in some cheesemaking, is found in animal stomach linings), but no one knows for sure.
The most basic cheeses only require heat and exposure to an acid. When in a pinch, I will sometimes heat a pot of goat milk and pour in white vinegar until it separates the curds from the whey. A quick rinse and drain followed by a light salting creates a delicious snack cheese that our whole family loves. I joke and call it an “uncultured cheese” in a snooty way while eating it atop fruit or tomatoes.
The only difference between the cheeses we eat and that gross baby bottle under the crib is that cheese for consumption is cultured and solidified on purpose. The microbial action (usually a bacterial one) is carefully selected and controlled.
I can make all kinds of different cheese from the same pot of milk. If I heat it lightly and add a fromage blanc or chevre culture, it will turn into a light and fluffy creamy goat cloud. If I do a higher temperature culture and then heat the curds to press, I can create any of an endless array of hard cheeses. If I culture and heat the milk, then take the curds and work them in hot water, I can create a quick and easy mozzarella that will make any sandwich or pizza sing.
At some point, though, the differences between which treatments and bacteria made yummy cheese and which mistakes make us gag had to be learned through trial and error. Someone (or many someones) had to figure it all out the hard way.
I wonder about not only the first person to eat cheese but all those who came after. What were they thinking about when trying a new and slightly different set of treatments on milk? Did they think of themselves as pioneers, or were they just hungry?
Some days I can eat about three bites before I feel full. On other days, I believe I have turned into a human black hole that will never be sated. Even after dinner, I can stand in the dark, illuminated only by the eerie glow of the refrigerator light, shoveling food and self-loathing into my face - until I turn to the cheese. Something about the protein and culture does what endless sleeves of Pringles can't accomplish - I stop feeling hungry.
Like so many other human food innovations, cheese is a preservation method designed or discovered to extend the life of a calorie that has evolved into an art form all its own.
Now that I trudge out every morning and evening, scoop grain into the bowl, and milk my goats, the cheese has a different meaning in my life. I can taste the changes in the seasons and the grasses in the milk. I know which days my girls had a few too many cookies or which days they got extra alfalfa. The subtleties are part of the beauty. I make cheese all the time, yet no two batches are identical.
The next time you grab a piece of cheese, take a second and look at it hard - think of all the people who tweaked cheesemaking on the edges - a few degrees here, a new culture there. Think of the weirdos who looked at their solidified milk and thought, "Hmmmm, maybe I'll try that." Think of those driven by making a slightly better cheese and those also driven by hunger and need.
Untold thousands of people contributed to that cheese you're crumbling over your salad or the slice you're adding to that sandwich. It's incredible to fathom.
Cheers to the innovators, the pioneers, the cheesemakers.
So when can we buy some from you! Great post made me want to go out and buy tomatoes!
Ha! I told my son the same thing when I asked him to give me this for my birthday!!! Where's the cheese? Or as Charlie on It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia says, "How much cheese is too much cheese!!!"