Lying is hard for people with goldfish memories

But I still did it

First off, I have to admit here that I lied. I hate lying. And, for someone who has spent a career in politics, I'm not particularly good at it.

I wrote on Thursday that it was my Mom's birthday (true) and that she said she understood if I couldn't be there for her on the big day (also true). She got that I couldn't make it because parenting during the holidays means a lot of juggling, but I went anyway.

Friday morning, I had the kids sing my Mom Happy Birthday on the phone, told her how sorry I was that I was going to miss her party, and then hopped an Uber to the airport to attend said party.

I lied because she's my Mom and is, therefore, the most devoted reader of these essays. I also lied because she's almost impossible to surprise, and if she had even the smallest inkling that I was secretly coming for her birthday, would have figured the whole thing out. Throwing her off the scent was a critical part of the plan. My Mom is like a bloodhound for lying.

We STILL talk about the time I ruined another of her big surprise birthdays, fully 20 years ago, because as I was getting her out of the house for a movie as a distraction, I flatly mentioned that maybe she should change into a cuter outfit. She’s that good.

So, I fully committed to the surprise this time - including, but not limited to, lying to all of you.

The problem with lying, of course, is that then you have to do all the work supporting the lie itself. That included not telling my kids I was leaving town until AFTER they sang Happy Birthday (because who is a better surprise-spoiler than a child?) and telling my Mom several times that I REALLY wished I could make it, but it was just not possible. Each instance felt stressful because any slip could unravel the whole thing.

I think I'm both too tired and have too poor a memory to do much lying.

Then, of course, as soon as I was at the airport for my flight that was to land at 1:30 pm for the 3 pm event, I got the notification the takeoff was delayed. I finally got to town an hour and a half late. By the time my brother picked me up, and we got there, we had missed half the party - so I guess my entrance was an even bigger shocker.

Ultimately, I think it was worth it. Sorry for the lie; thank you for playing along with me.

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