Everything is gross

Yuck.

I remember the first time I had a Mom-friend buy us the book "Everyone Poops” when my older son was an infant. At first, I thought it was a gag, but it wasn’t - she really loved the book. I was polite but thought, "I don't need this; I'll never be one of 'those people.'"

For some reason, I was delusional enough to think that somehow we would be able to get through parenthood with my dignity intact.

I hoped to be one of those matter-of-fact Moms who would address bodily functions at the appropriate times but wouldn't dwell on the gross stuff. We would handle it, give proper wiping lessons, and then move on and never worry about it again.

Then we started potty training, and I had a second son. Any aspirations I ever carried of staying out of the fray of disgusting bodily function conversations/jokes/dwelling have long since passed.

There's also no avoiding the grossness on a farm - urban or otherwise. Animals do not care AT ALL about politeness, cleanliness, or if they lean over and pee right onto your guest's foot. Animals will jump on you regardless if you're wearing your muck jeans or a new bespoke white dress. I think they're more likely to jump on you in the dress just because they like to ruin it when you smell good.