2023 - A year for discernment

Relentless winnowing of the fluff

In college, I studied economics. When most people think of economics, they believe it's the study of finances, markets, and money, but in reality, it's the study of human choice. As my professors used to say, "it's how we use limited resources to fulfill unlimited wants."

Back when I studied economics, I had a flip phone (not to date myself, but I'm dating myself). It felt like a different universe than the one we occupy today. This post-COVID, smartphone-filled world feels like one with a ground comprised of quickly shifting sands. Maybe that's part of why I have a little urban farm; I'm harkening back to a time in our past when I was standing on something a bit more solid.

It's true, by the way, that we all have limited resources and unlimited wants - we have limited time, money, health, and attention.

A fundamental misunderstanding I often trap myself with, though, is that to fulfill my "unlimited wants," I must solely work to compile more resources.

Sometimes I turn myself into Scrooge McDuck and look just for more money, more friends, reading more articles and tweets, sending more social media posts, writing more essays, and spending more time with my kids. Yet, each of those things can be a net loss if not done intentionally.

In today's world, it's easy to confuse quantity and quality, particularly with so many moving parts. Wall-to-wall news has made us more informed but also depressed. More "friends" who we have never met make us more connected but with less depth. We're all living in the best and the worst of times - to steal a phrase.

It's crazy to consider we're walking around with access to thousands of years of human knowledge on a small device in our pockets, yet using it to mainly look at memes, get outraged, and make ourselves feel bad about what we lack.

I have more of almost everything today than when I started the pursuit of studying human choice. I have more money, access to more information, better technology, children, a husband, a house, a small urban farm, and more words and experiences. I also have less time and have lost the invincibility of youth.

Entering the season of life where sneezing wrong can mean limping for three days is nothing, if not humbling.

So, this year I will focus on discernment through the volume.

More money would be ideal, but not if it means I have to hire out my parenting duties at a net loss. I always love meeting new people and making more friends, but also have wells of undiscovered depth in those I have. The goats, animals, gardens, and projects seem to breed like rabbits, but thoughtful pruning is just as important as adding.

One of the great things about this Substack is that I can self-reflect on the arc I've been writing here. It's a catalog. When I started, these essays were longer - as if I needed to fit everything I ever wanted to say into each installment. Every post was so dripping with eagerness they would go on for literally thousands of words. I’m working on distilling - and not necessarily for drinking purposes.

Since consistently writing, I see the relentless cutting of fluff is more readable, and that same winnowing, applied to life at large, makes it more livable.

It's time to cut to the quick; in our innermost core, we find meaning.

In Victor Frankl's life-changing treatise, Man's Search for Meaning, he wrote: "Life is not primarily a quest for pleasure, as Freud believed, or a quest for power, as Alfred Adler taught, but a quest for meaning."

Much of the meaning I've found over the last year has been here. I'm constantly in awe that many have joined and supported me in this journey.

I look forward to starting 2023 together, to find meaning, and share it. Thank you for being here.

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My friend Emily tweeted this quote from Pope Benedict, who died last night. It struck me as the right words for this time. You don’t have to be Catholic, or even a Christian, for it to resonate for you, too:

“Dear friends, may no adversity paralyze you. Be afraid neither of the world, nor of the future, nor of your weakness. The Lord has allowed you to live in this moment of history so that, by your faith, His name will continue to resound throughout the world.” - Pope Benedict XVI